Making an impact....

Sorry it's been a while since my last post. (Though I doubt the masses have been screaming at the gates for more posts.) I have been out of town for a few days for work. I was in Myrtle Beach, the red-neck riviera. These past few days have been very introspective. Monday at small group, Ted asked "Are you making an impact? Or are you surviving?" At the Service manager conference, my VP asked a very similar question. Sadly, at work, I have been surviving. At work I have been doing just enough to get by, becuase honestly, inspite of all of my delegating and wonderful managering, (I made that word up) surviving is all I have time for. Now, there are certain indicators that would suggest I am making a difference (My team was 12th now they are 5th--yeah me!), but mostly I feel like I am drinking from a fire hose, and when 5 o'clock comes, I get the feeling of "whew! I made it through another one!" I'm sure this feeling isn't exclusive to me.
With regards to Ted's question, I feel like I am surviving in a different way. I am surviving life by fitting in, by being a part of the crowd, and thus avoiding the beating that I may take by being "different." The problem I have is walking the fine line between being a just-like-the-world-jerk, and being a sheltered-out-of touch-ubber-christian. (I realize there is a lot more room than a fine-line, but you get the point) We all want to fit it. We all want to be liked and thought of as "cool". I don't care how old you are you still want to be liked. Any one who disagrees is lying. (broad generalization alert, but mostly true) We all want to be liked. We all want to fit-in. I think this is one of my biggest downfalls.
You know what they say: Leave every place you go, better than how you found it. (They say a lot). It is my prayer that I am leaving it better, but I guess there is no way of knowing. UNfortunatley, now I get the sense, that it's just more of the same.